An Open Letter to Every Man Who Reads a Woman’s Blog

PLEASE READ: I decided to give myself a fresh start. Read more about that here.

Open Letter

Dear man who reads a woman’s blog,

You know who you are, you’re someone who frequents the blog of a woman. Before you get defensive, let me level the field and admit that I’m writing this letter to you as a fellow perpetrator.

Now that we have this straight, let me acknowledge a couple things that you might be thinking, to help put you at ease.

1. You’re insecure about admitting your problem, and that’s ok.

2. You somehow rationalize that it’s ok to lurk on a woman’s blog because you think that she doesn’t know you do.

3. You read her blog comments, and wish you had the courage to leave one.

4. You’re afraid that you’ll be seen as a stalker, or worse some kind of animal, if you actually leave a comment.

5. You think there’s something wrong with you. In my opinion, there’s actually something right with you.

You are not alone. I’ve been there, and at times, I’m still there.

I don’t know if it’s societal breakdown, but for some reason there’s mixed feelings about men leaving comments on women’s blogs, and vice versa.

We feel as though it’s taboo to step across the lines and speak our mind. Like there’s something inherently wrong for one gender to have an opinion about something the other gender has written about.

Or we feel out of place leaving a comment on a post that has 50 comments, all of which were written by women.

Maybe it’s the Victoria’s Secret complex, where we feel uncomfortable being seen inside the store — like all of a sudden the world’s eyes have been placed upon us and accuse us of being perverted.

But there’s tragedy in this fear …

When we avoid commenting on a woman’s blog, we do the following:

1. We remove the value we can bring to the conversation.

2. We remove the affirmation that we can give women on the way they feel.

3. We remove the opportunity to encourage them.

I could go on with more points, but even the three listed above should be enough to convince you to man up and just start writing.

If you agree with me, and plan on commenting on women’s blogs, please make sure you do so respectfully and within proper boundaries.

There’s nothing worse than kicking down the door in the comments of a sensitive post like a neanderthal screaming “I am man, hear me speak.”

The Bottom Line

Over the past month or so, I’ve gone out of my way to read posts without the fear of leaving a comment. I want to voice my opinion on things, and present value in the conversation taking place.

Last week my friend Tsh Oxenreider rebranded her blog from Simple Mom to The Art of Simple.

You might wonder why she did that …

According to statistics, 20% of our readers are male. (We’re pretty sure you’re closet readers, you males.)

You see, 20% of the traffic to her website is male, and I’d be willing to bet you that the percentage of comments from men is no where near that amount — and up until her rebrand I was one of those closet readers.

I want to be an example to you, to show that it’s perfectly acceptable to speak your mind in an appropriate manner.

As a matter of fact, doing this is sometimes met with appreciation.

So if you’re a reader of a woman’s blog, let her know how you feel. Take the risk by opening up and share what you are thinking. Help reassure her by validating what she’s written.

And the world will be a better place.

Thank you for your time.


Brian Gardner

Spread the Word

I normally don’t ask for social sharing on my posts, but this is one of those instances where I’d like to make an exception. In my opinion there’s just way too much value to be added here without doing so.

Let’s make this post go viral, so we can make a change!

Please do what you can to share this post on Facebook or you can click any of the sample tweets below to share to your followers:

1. An Open Letter to Every Man Who Reads a Woman’s Blog
2. Whoop, @bgardner told me to man up and comment on women’s blog!
3. Ladies, @bgardner encourages men to comment on women’s blogs!