Telling Stories

I love to write, and I always have.

It’s no surprise that I’ve been doing a lot of it lately, and there’s a reason for that — I want to share my story.

I love what my friend Sarah Kathleen Peck says about writing.

The test of a great story is what people remember about you when you stop talking.

I don’t want to be remembered as a person who was successful, but as one who overcame his failures.

Because of this, you get to hear what goes wrong in my life and not just what goes right with it.

Ernest Hemingway nails it when he talks about writing.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

I want to bleed all over my blog, just as Hemingway explains.

I want you to see the real me, no matter what the cost or at what expense. No triage, just honesty and being real.

So thank you for listening to me, as I choose to tell my story.

The Right to Disappear

I’ve recently become a fan of the movie Country Strong. The film is about an emotionally unstable country music star, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, who attempts to resurrect her career.

Over the past few days, I’ve watched the ending of the movie at least fifty times. I’m captivated by the last five minutes for some reason.

Paltrow’s character Kelly Canter faces her demons, and unfortunately in the end she succumbs to them when she overdoses.

In a letter to Beau, who she loved, she quotes Waylon Jennings.

If you see me gettin’ smaller, I’m leavin’ don’t be grievin’
Just got to get away from here, if you see me gettin’ smaller
Don’t worry I’m in no hurry, I’ve got the right to disappear.

I’ve been struggling lately with my online life, and the suffocation I often feel when it comes to social media. Like Facebook.

Part of me wants to share my story and encourage others to be authentic, while other times I simply want to just disappear.

When I decided to relaunch my personal blog, I wanted honesty. The things I write about might feel random, but they are spoken intentionally.

I realize that I’ll always have critics, but I no longer have the desire to wear a mask and pretend that everything is perfect.

Because it’s not. And never will be. I need to be real and talk about that.

Years ago Kurt Cobain said it best.

I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

There are things about my life that make me happy, but I can assure you social media isn’t one of them.

It makes me tired and it’s completely exhausting.

So I’m letting you know that I might be taking a break from it. I don’t know which places, and for how long, but one thing I know for sure …

… I’ve got the right to disappear.

Ten Words

A few months ago I read a post called I Write to Unravel Life’s Lies. The headline drew me in, but the words that followed spoke huge truths.

The critical whispers are louder than the loudest shouts of praise. The doubt speaks more often than the affirmation.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who says “me too” when reading something like this, and I suggest taking the time to read that post in its entirety.

We’re not the only ones who are afraid or who fear rejection.

It’s sad for me to admit this, but there are so many things about life that I’m uncertain about — so much of it is unclear to me.

But I do know that underneath all of the questions that I have, there are some really amazing truths that keep me going.

I’m not a huge reader, and I never have been. In fact, I can count the number of books I’ve read over the past few years on one hand.

This isn’t something I’m particular proud to admit to you, especially since I consider myself a creative and intellectual guy.

Last year I read Packing Light, written by Allison Vesterfelt. I came across ten words in her book — and things for me have never be the same.

Where your passion meets their need, that is your calling.

Now these might not be as impactful to you as they are to me, but if you know what I’ve been going through in the past year you’d understand.

I’ve learned a couple of things along the way:

1. I love to write and the fire has been rekindled.
2. I love to help and encourage people.
3. I love being creative.

Jeff Goins wrote something a few months ago that resonated with me.

Most writers struggle with the same thing, one little thought that threatens to destroy their message before it ever leaves their fingertips: what I say doesn’t matter.

Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder if my efforts are worth it. I wonder if the time I spend sharing my story actually makes a difference.

But one thing I know is this.

Even if one life is changed by what I say, it was definitely worth it.