Separating Life
I am in the middle of a major identity crisis, and want some help. I want/need to tap into all aspects of my life online, and need some directional advice. I’m Brian Gardner, a designer, a writer, a husband, a father, a vacationer, a child of God and a bunch of other neat things.
I need to somehow spread out all of these areas of my life into an online presence. Whether that be here on this site (using categories) or somehow, someway on another blog. I have too much to write about, but feel people that come here are only looking for Wordpress Themes or design tips.
Any input?
I have found that having a personal blog (http://randaclay.com/lumps) and a professional blog has addressed this same issue as I faced it some months ago. I kept wanting to write about things related to design and blogs, etc. that the readers on my personal blog were just not interested in. So, I changed my home site from a static site to a blog.
I know how you feel Brian. I’m in a similar situation and wondering whether it’s possible to combine personal life/thoughts along with blogging advice and tips. I think there’s a need to branch out into another blog though, which isn’t a pleasant thought to be honest.
Then there is the question of domain. Do you use a sub domain, or a separate one? Personally, I reckon separate is better for future branding.
I must say it’s quite nice (and soothing) to know the two of you are there with me. Obviously we have one pretty important Thing in common, so there’s that aspect of life we need to pursue.
I appreciate your comments, Randa & Armen, and will most definitely take your advice. Whether it be on a subdomain like Randa’s or on a whole other domain.
I like the idea of mixing personal with professional. It gives people a more complete picture and unless it is awful a more realistic look into your person.
I think anyone who works on the internet and out here has this sort of wonderment of what to do and what not to do on there sites.
If you made two sites though, you could probably count me a reader of both, so either way you do it… you all the things you listed. Anything you decide on will have support because of that.
I don’t care about you. I don’t want to know what you ate for dinner, or watched on TV last night. There’s already millions of idiots like you that feel the need to detail every little thing they do online. We don’t need anymore, I only come here to take your themes and use them myself.
Not exactly sure how to respond to this, but for some unexplainable reason I’m going to leave this comment here. I hope you enjoy the themes… I guess.
I orginally found your site while I was looking for a template and I suspect a lot of other people do too.
Been going through the same decision lately, I’ve decided to have two sites; one for my personal stuff and one for my professional. That way my readers can decide what they want to read about.
And Jason, just for the sake of saying, there’s more to a personal life than people talking about TV and food.
Lyndon, thanks for saying that. It’s becoming clearer that 2 blogs is a must.
Wow- I was reading Jason’s comment thinking he’s going to say “haha! just kidding” at the end, but then he didn’t. What a pity. I feel sorry for him.
I am glad you left Jason’s remarks up, though I don’t personally agree with theway he expressed them in some ways I feel he made a valid point.
I am not that keen on sharing all my “in’s and out’s” on line, general background is always good, building a relationship with your readers is an essential part of blogging, but too much detail in a blog like this one is probably not the way to go.
A separate site, even just a free wordpress.com/blogger site, would be the better way to go I think.
I am not a fan of Twitter, but maybe even just using that for now would give you the opportunity to express some things you need to get out there and allow those that want to follow your feed the opportunity to do so.
Stevie, thanks, and I understand. I want to point out the personal stuff I want to share is more spiritually inclined and thought provoking. It does make sense to separate the two, and I have no problem with that. It’s not my intent to talk about the sandwich I ate today, or what movie I’m going to see. There’s reasons for the personal stuff I plan on sharing.
The beef I have with Jason isn’t that he said it wasn’t necessary, but how he said it.
I am not the Jason that posted above. I do not know him. However, I somehow ended up getting emails for every comment left in this blog.
How irritating. Its so nice (sarcasm added) that he’d involve me.
Now that I’m here though, I’d suggest going with the dual sites. Its what I do.
I think you are facing a lot of what we all face as bloggers. Do we confine our blog to a single subject? Do we dare branch out and offer personal opinion in fear of alienating a portion of our audience? Do we risk our professional security because of personal integrity? Do we expose our naked wires to our public? How far do we go?
Brian Gardner, for better or worse, is now identified as a “brand”, and perhaps unfortunate for you, has boxed you into the corner of “wordpress design guy”. To compound things, your generosity breeds people like, the guy who doesn’t have a link to his website, who is a taker.
I admire the stature you’ve achieved in such a short period. Most of us came upon you because of your themes and, as one reads a blog daily, find familiarity with your persona as a designer and intrigued by your life in general.
It may be in your best interest to separate the two now, before they become to intertwined as it will be a much more difficult separate Brian Gardner from Brian Gardner, Inc. later on.
I would read your personal blog, simply because I am interested in your story of how you became that “wordpress guy”, but that’s me. I’m more interested in the journey than the destination.
Consider it carefully and prayerfully. Best of luck.
To Jason and StevieB,
So you have your opinion guys, and that’s fair enough. However, many people like ‘reality’ and they like to reflect and learn from other people’s experiences and thoughts as the writer relates them. Steve Olson runs a popular blog, and much of it reflects from his personal life. Although I don’t agree with everything he has to say, I usually respect his perspective.
Jason, if you think people can only relate their musings on Pop Idol or the like, then you have a very shallow view of life; God help you. Plus, some people only cater for a small group of people, i.e. me. I left my homeland to live in Australia for a year or two, and I have family and friends that are loving the fact that I can share my experiences with them, and although many people may not be interested in that, they are.
Brian, you also have to consider if you’ll have enough material and time to sustain two separate blogs? Will one suffer? As I have been thinking about this issue, I have thought that maybe I could blog on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in the ‘professional’ area, and Friday - Monday in the ‘personal’ area, or something like that.
Chris & Armen, thanks for taking the time to write out such long comments. Chris, I see you point, and know I’ve branded my name is WP theme guy, and not something else. Perhaps I can mask that identity on another blog. Armen, guess we’ll see how this all plays out. The good thing is that I am going on vacation next week, and will have time to think about it!
Jennifer, forgot to say thanks for saying what you did, about reading whatever I write. That’s pretty darn cool, and I appreciate that.
Hi Brian,
I came across your website through smashing magazine. I was redirected to a site using your blue zinfandel theme. It was pretty neat theme and I like d it. I also like the dropshadow theme.
You are correct by saying, most visitors come to your site because of the theme, but may seldom read what you write. I guess, I was one of them at first. Then I became interested to know who is this “Brian Gardner”.
I share the same sentiments. I created a blog for my family wherein I will share my children’s experiences or my experiences with my children. Mostly, anything about life and family.
Go on write about anything that you want to share. Somehow, people will find your blog and they’ll read it; later you will realize it might help someone you don’t know.
Will you be posting while you’re away Brian?
I will try to post once or twice while I’m away, which will only be 4 nights…
Brian,
I have taken the two blogs approach - one business and one personal. I really have two separate audiences with a bit of overlap, but it works very well!
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Armen, apologies if my post offended, sometimes my words don’t quite come out as I mean them too, I did not intend to suggest that the more intimate blogs are a bad idea or wrong, just that a separate blog from this one would be the better way to go.
As I said, it’s not my personal style, it’s just not something I would want to do, but I have still enjoyed reading others thoughts and feelings on different subjects so I may well check out Brian’s other blog if he does set one up.
Brian, enjoy the vacation.
Brian,
Take it from me … I understand your situation and I have the same thoughts … however here is my take on your issue:
If you had a blog that was just about a topic and was all information then you could mix everything you wanted to blog about into 1 blog!
However since you do run an actual business of Designing Blogs you should keep 2 seperate blogs with links back to one another so when people come to your Business blog they can focus on what you have to offer and viewing your work … and people that know you … like myself, can go to your personal blog to find out how the kids and the family are doing!
2 Blogs are obviously more work … but your business blog will look professional and to the point ( Selling your Designs and Services ) and not pull away from the main reason people do go there ( Buying Custom Blog Designs )
Good Luck my friend and I hope I helped with my words!
Darin
Brian - My two cents on the subject is create a new blog (sub blog) for your non-design thoughts. I come here for your design insight, but know you are more than your wordpress themes.
The header is Brian Gardner Design. Three tabs in your menu indicate design is the purpose: themes, services, portfolio. Your name is attached to some cool themes which results (I’d imagine) in plenty of clicks to this site. I’d also imagine people do what I did, contact you about some help. While I never used the results of your short services - we killed some time on chat together and you made a few bucks. Whether those contacts result in serious income opportunities or not - that may determine what you want to accomplish. But my suggestion would be to use this site for income generation, period!
I’m a business professional who is much older than you. I have lived in the management/marketing world for over 30 years and that’s where I earn my income. My site has very little to do with that.
You’re better off maintaining this site as a vehicle for business. Narrow the focus on the work you do. Clearly define what you do - what you want to do, what you’re capable of doing, the processes involved, etc. Market yourself. Promote yourself. Build your customer base here. This is where people are finding you. This is where they’re introduced to you.
Sub-categories? Forget about it. At most, create a link to a different site with a completely different purpose. Make that site your personal site to discuss whatever you want. Link to that site from this site by inviting people who want to learn more about you to go visit your personal site. If they don’t want to, who cares? If they do, and many will (because we’re all nosey), great.
Most of us know that trying to do too many things on a single site ends up making the site ineffective. It’s the age old dilemma of being a jack of all trades, master of none.
My site has only 2 objectives: a) be fun for me (regardless if anybody clicks on it or not) and b) to learn some techical things about websites. So my goals are probably not typical. For me, it’s just a live experiment. And it’s fun.
Sorry for the long post. Stop struggling. Make some money. Earn what you’re worth. Do that here!
This site - earn what you’re worth.
Another site - have fun, talk about whatever you want and give folks the opportunity to see the personal you. Link to this new site on your about page here for those who want to learn more.
@ Leonard - Speechless. Not sure what to say, other than thanks for taking the time to write all of that out. For thinking about me, and responding the way you did. I truly appreciate it.
Ed, Darin & UKStevieB - also many thanks for saying what you have. It’s getting REALLY clear what I need to do, which is to keep this site about design and blogging. Thanks again to all who have participated in this thread!
Hi Brian: My vote: Separate Blogs with a suggestion:
I can relate to your apparent dilemna.
Though my blogs are not up yet I find myself in the same boat with personal,online business and mentoring tips and spiritual matters to blog about.
With your blogs separated you can write with passion, interest and focus towards the target audience/community.
From time to time you may sense the need to link from the professional blog to a post on the personal/spiritual blog. You will be able to write the appropriate teaser/ intro and link to it.
Therefore on both blogs you will stand out and communicate clearly and passionately capturing your reader and providing benefit to them.
Your occassional cross linking between the blogs will allow those that are interested to appreciate you as a well rounded real person, not just a design resource.
You could also amend your bios on both blogs to reference each otheras well.
I remember not so long ago a conversation we had concerning “stepping back, taking a deep breathe and regrouping”. Whatever you decide to do, don’t lose sight of what’s important to you and that starts at home. I’m sure you’ll make the right decisions. Hey, maybe a new theme is in the works, a multi-layered theme to support the business side of things, the family side of things, etc. etc. etc. ; )
Excellent thoughts Leonard. Beneficial to more than Brian.
Stevie - no problem. We’re all aware of the issue of ‘flat’ conversation; we all have come across in a manner not intended at some stage or another.
Wow, I like Leonard’s advice. Why not use this site to launch your business presence online. As many have already mentioned, this site and the way it’s set up leads one to believe that it is mostly about designs. I think setting up another more “personal blog” where you can share about yourself and your life might help you compartmentalize things and drive yourself less insane. Good luck Brian.
why are you submitting comments using my name?
Darin
Jason,
Please stop leaving comments. That was a long time ago, ok? And it doesn’t matter anymore - they disabled comments. What’s your beef with me? Send me an email and you can tell me what I did to you that is making you so mad.
Brian,
I also would suggest the two separate sites, perhaps linking to each other, so that folks interested could take a gander at your personal thoughts.
My main reason for commenting though is that I love your themes. They are some of the most clean and professional ones I’ve found on the web. Keep up the good work!
Great thread - I just googled ‘how to separate your blog into personal and professional’ and wow, look what turned up. Also using wp, and have started to design themes as well, though definitely new to the design game.
I guess I’m in just the opposite shoes of you Brian. I have a fiercely loyal family-fan-base that follows my blog only to hear the latest news about our twin girls. When I post about tech stuff, the comment board is dead or I’ll sometimes hear the “what does this have to do with the girls?”
But I’m wanting to build a more professional site now that I am building a portfolio.
I’ve struggled with the whole ’should i create a personal category?’ and merge personal and professional into one site. But then I ask ‘which posts should I go back and label personal?’ - it really becomes a mess because the whole thing has been so intertwined.
I’ve resisted the idea of two separate sites, but I really agree with what everyone is saying - you can’t do either very well if you are trying to do both at the same time in the same space. Imagine if your family lived at your office and when clients came in, your kids ran out in their pajamas. You love them both, but it just doesn’t work too well.
Which would work better, keep my name domain as my professional site and move my personal blog - or the reverse - try to create a new brand for my professional site with a new name?
I think I’ve found my solution, but I might not get it fully implemented for another week. I’ll let you all know.
Hey, Brian
I’m one of your reader form Taiwan. Same situation as you, I’m Mandy Chou, also a designer, a writer, a daughter but not a child of God cause I’ m a Buddhist. ^^
I love read your site whether themes or design or mind. I’m here for you and go for it, my friend !
You could always use plug-ins like post levels to separate the business-like posts from the ones you only want to share with friends, family or whatever.
Back to the start . . . I thought the identity crises was the point. Or is it a self image crises? Or maybe a self concept issue? You have a great list of self descriptions. But what do they mean to you? Are they satisfying facts or objectives? I’m not real clear on where your thoughts are at. I do have a suggestion to consider before making your conclusions. I sort of get where you are having been in that age with its self (?) discomforts. I found a lot of the needed stabilization in Aristotle’s works. Yeah, yeah . . .old old guy. But the old truths . . . . . are still the truth. Check for Mortimer Adler’s book Ten Philosophical Mistakes. I seem to have learned that its not what you think about, but how you think that makes all the difference. And no, mine is not for lending or sale.